the movie night was all set up, and I had bought tons of things for us to eat, counting on us to be about ten. we were six, but that's not too far off! It was time to pick up the first people from the bus, and despite myself I was a bit nervous. It was such a long time since I last set up a movie night, and I'd nearly forgotten how to. it all went splendid after all, and now I finally started to clear my floor from the mattresses.

I look at them and I freeze. how long has it really been since the people I love lay sleeping soundly between those covers? it seems like a huge vast wasteland of time that we may never cross again. I remember almost all of our nights together, when we'd disrupt the entire house with our laughs and cries and movies. I miss the smell of sleep laying like a haze over the heap of blankets and people, I miss the feeling of lying between people so close that I could faintly hear their hearts. I always slept best those nights.

but we never really do that anymore, and it sadden me.

are we growing up?