Oskar (min älskade lilla bil) och jag har varit ute på farliga äventyr! I tisdags, som för övrigt var en väldigt händelserik dag, hade vi precis haft sista lektionen för dagen, och trots det skulle jag stanna kvar i bildsalen, gå på möte med Åsa som jag ska tenta av ARL för, och därefter susa iväg till träningen. Tatjana och jag kände däremot att innan detta tog vid så behövdes choklad. och både hon och Sanna skulle in till stan, så efter en liten stund satt vi i bilen med värmen på högsta nivå och pratade om bilkörning och hur man kommer till Hemköp utan att köra fel och dö.

när vi har kommit över bron och bara har en liten bit kvar innan korsningen kör Saga, den Magnifike, litelite nära trottoaren och tro det eller ej, men under snö kan vad som helst gömma sig. Så som sepe-indents i trottoaren som presenterar ett fint litet hörn alldeles lagom farligt för små bilar som heter Oskar. PANGBOMVADVARDETDÄR?! och hela bilen lutar lite snett fram, och låter inte det där väldigt konstigt? skratt och panik och va? i en enda röra och Sanna öppnar bildörren vid rödljuset och OSKAR HAR PUNKTERING! NEEEJJEEE! handfallna står vi där, skrattandes, förbryllade. vad gör man när man får punktering i stan?

vi kom fram till följande:

• kör som vanligt genom korsningen

• kör i en bussfil

• svänger in vid netto - från en bussfil, framför en buss

• stannar mitt framför en dörr och börjar leta efter reservdäck

• ringer hedervärda starka pappor som hjälper till att byta däck

• hittar domkraft och blir jätteglad

• kör därifrån under skrattattacker

• köper choklad på hemköp och skiter i att betala parkeringen där innan man åker tillbaka till skolan.

på eftermiddagen sniglade jag mig genom staden upp till folkunga och hade träning (åhh träääniiing!) och när jag kom hem var jag arg och ledsen på hela världen, för världen är dum i huvudet. så jag klippte den förbannade luggen som jag har gått och velat fram och tillbaka på om jag ska klippa eller inte. det blev dödssnyggt, så hela världen kan ta sig!

nästa projekt i mitt liv blir att åka någonstans där det finns så lite människor som möjligt och bara känna hur skönt det är att inte ha dumhuvuden i närheten.

OBS! ovanstående paragraf har ingenting med punkteringen på älsklings-Oskar att göra! OBS!

Måndagar. konstiga dagar. skolaskolaskola och Fanny och jag spelar ett spel där man ska skjuta fåglar på grisar och deras fort. mums. Måndagar är en allmänt mysig dag, dock inte när ens telefon dör lite så att man inte kan ringa folk som man lovat. förlåt förlåt.

någonting som dock gjorde min dag, alltså GJORDE MIN DAAAAAG var att en liten tös har kommit tillbaka ut på planen för att passa!

Där står man i ett omklädningsrum och funderar lite över livet, och in genom dörren kliver ett jättestort leende. leendet har en liten mössa och glitter i ögonen och man tjuter SARAAAAAA och kastar sig runt halsen på den för livet är så jävla fint i just det ögonblicket, och det blir bara finare när hon kliver in i salen och allt är på riktigt och vi bollar och det är fortfarande på riktigt och jag är bara så glad att ha tillbaka en av mina favorittjejer i mitt favoritlag!

ursäkta medan jag evaporerar av för högt lyckotryck

hello

I'm a dinosaur

you may notice from the way I soar above your head

I don't know if you have noticed

but I no longer exist

no room for dinosaurs in a world of human bliss

there's a big black cloud in the sky

and I want to run and hide but what good will it do

when a fireball

makes a firecall

and everything disappears

and all around

there's the crashing sound

as everything disappears

boom boom boom

goes my world goes my world and all I love

no room for a dinosaur

boom boom boom goes my world goes my world and all I love

I guess I wasn't good enough

hello

I'm a dinosar

you may notice from the way my neck is tall and oh

I bet that you have seen

a lot of stories about me

and looked at my bones in an art gallery

there's a big black cloud in the sky

and I want to run and hide but what good will it do

when a fireball

makes a firecall

and everything disappears

and all around

there's the crashing sound

as everything disappears

boom boom boom

goes my world goes my world and all I love

no room for a dinosaur

boom boom boom goes my world goes my world and all I love

I guess I wasn't good enough

I hope that I'll be part

of the stars

of something bigger than me

I'll wish

then when this phaze is over

I'll still know that I am me

boom boom boom

goes my world goes my world and all I love

no room for a dinosaur

boom boom boom goes my world goes my world and all I love

I guess I wasn't good enough

minus twenty-two degrees celcius. that's my world right now, and it's getting colder. I was a lucky bastard who got a ride with my mom this morning but I'll be damned if it wasn cold AS FUCK to walk through the entire town to get to federal piercing studios or whatever the fuck that place is called.

and I'll be damned if it wasn't worth it.

Today Lina finally pierced medusa and I pierced septum. It R-O-C-K-S! dude, you should totally see it! Oh I forgot, you can't, because I haven't taken any pictures of it, and I sure as hell won't just to please your eyes. you'll have to look me up.

tshirts are on the go nowadays, and also book-binding, and cisv-stuff, and volleyball aaand I am missing a bit of work so I'd better shape up like right now or there will be no future of thing young chick. ye.

over and out

the sky finally made its decision to open up and let out all that it had kept inside. it has snowed continuously the entire day, and I spent an hour of it walking through town with Jennifer, talking about love and relationships. I miss being in love. then again, I am in love with volleyball and painting. so I shan't miss anything.

The weekend has been quite peculiar, starting with twelve of the members of JB Linköping going to SO (aka sweden's Junior Branch Meeting) where I surprisingly enough was elected for National Junior Representat suppleant. I was so happy to know that people actually wanted to trust me with something as important as that, seeing that they may as well have chosen to leave the seat vacant in search of someone better. But i have no doubt that i will do a great job, especially when I get to work with such wonderful people as I do.

my health has been an issue between my mother and I recently. when I had screamed my throat hoarse she believed that I was sick no matter what I told her. I had to sneak out to trainings dammit! and now after SO where I slept too little in too cold climate with much less clothes with me than I would have liked. so now my nose has been runing for a couple of days, but I don't feel as if I should skip training, or the game in Bromma on sunday. I just wish that my throat heals completely soon so that my mom can stop worriyng for nothing.

Time to start beating away at those homework I got. sheesh. catch you guys later.

I am so confused, I don't really know where I am headed. I would like for time to stop just a second, so that I could finish pondering all these things, but I am tied to a train that ruthlessly drags me through the days. why dost it move so fast, though? It is not like we are in a hurry to go somewhere. but maybe that is part of something bigger that I simply do not understand.

I spent three of my days this vacation with some people from CISV, trying to tie up some knots and lose ends. I managed to lose my voice and complete the hole in my favorite socks that has been sneaking up on me. But I am still standing on that same monopoly square, paying up to someone who felt it righteous to claim that piece of land as theirs.

coming home I was pleased to spend the rest of my weekend with some friends I haven't really seen in a while. Tom, martina, becka, isak, Rasmus, fanny and Ke was here. we did not watch movies for a change. we actually played some games of cards and guessing who you were and ate pasta. my room was yet again covered in mattresses, and I must admit that that is my favorite state of this room. perhaps that would be the reason as to why I always keep littering my floor with clothes and guitars and rugs, trying to fill up the empty space after they've gone. or something other sentimental thing like that.

right now I am preparing to go to Uppsala to SO höst, the meeting of the junior branch in Sweden. Fanny is coming with me, along with ten others from this chapter. I am really looking forward to it, though my voice has not gone back to normal yet. in fact, it is probably worse, seeing as I trained hard on monday and tuesday.

over and out

I started feeling sick some days ago, but I decided to drive the illness out of my system by training like a maniac. which I did. both in our own training and with the women's team. and it worked out splendid!

so right now I guess I'm preparing to go to Impact this weekend, meeting some sweet people, talking about sweet stuff, and then going straight back home to gather up some old favorites.

anywho, you'll hear more about it when I actually feel like writing this shit down.

oh, and I'm missing out on a great opportunity to play a game of volleyball with the women's team on saturday.

pissed.

the movie night was all set up, and I had bought tons of things for us to eat, counting on us to be about ten. we were six, but that's not too far off! It was time to pick up the first people from the bus, and despite myself I was a bit nervous. It was such a long time since I last set up a movie night, and I'd nearly forgotten how to. it all went splendid after all, and now I finally started to clear my floor from the mattresses.

I look at them and I freeze. how long has it really been since the people I love lay sleeping soundly between those covers? it seems like a huge vast wasteland of time that we may never cross again. I remember almost all of our nights together, when we'd disrupt the entire house with our laughs and cries and movies. I miss the smell of sleep laying like a haze over the heap of blankets and people, I miss the feeling of lying between people so close that I could faintly hear their hearts. I always slept best those nights.

but we never really do that anymore, and it sadden me.

are we growing up?

at night, I can still hear that shower running. I can feel the hard mattress and the thin wierd pillow wrapped around my head. My nostrils fool me that they feel the scent of chocolate and nuts and tea and rain in the sun. I trick myself to hear the laughs, the cries and the soft murmurs of people at night in conversation by the lights in the street. I hear the slamming of doors, and the echoes of footsteps in the stone staircase. I feel the wind under the bridge, hear the clinks of bottles, curse over blisters that I realize a second later I don't have anymore.

and somewhere in the midst of all that, I miss you. I miss you so damn much.

the street was cold, my legs were frozen and the chord to my earphones had gone stale from the chilling wind. It was half past ten in the night, and I was standing outside of Platå, waiting for Frida who had convinced me to go out on a thursday night. I felt, for the first time in my life, like one of those girls who goes out drinking without knowing what they're doing, without telling their parents, but knowing that the night will be special and mysterious. yea right, okay so skipping that crap, Frida came out to meet me and we both went in to the club. She introduced me to Linnea whom I already knew and Madde who would turn out to be a real amazing girl and danser.

drinks were bought and alcohol was drained, as were all the thoughts about the book I have to make a report on. seriously, fuck that book, it's awesome but.. no.

the music was loud, the drinks were good, and the dancefloor was packed with people and full of life. we were in there, right in the middle, drifitng here and there, and in that thriving pulsing crowd there are suddenly hands on my hips and lips on my lips, and whythefuckshouldIcare and he's touching me and he's not looking too bad either. I save him, leave him on the dansefloor becuase nooneshouldbewithme and the four of us girls hit the road with burning cheeks and wobbling legs and hearts full of laughter and those frizzy bubbles you have in soda.

on our way home we get distracted by three young men whom we talk with for a while and find out that they're actually not assholes shameonmeformyprejudices and we hang out with them in their apartment for half an hour. we watch youtube, talk about cool stuff and listen to music. Linnea eats some noodles and we have some salty pretzels, and half past four we head towards Frida's  house. taxi and streetlights and Resorb and a movie makes the eyelids drop, and before I know it I'm asleep. I didn't even watch the start of the movie.

we wake up after barely two hour's sleep, eat a little breakfast (Fruit rocks!) and I get to take a clementine with me to school. I stop by at McDonald's and get myself a coffee and toast, and then I ride the bus in the early morning light. it feels amazing to be alive and wake at those kind of hours.

I was slightly hungover, but we had art, and I could actually take some time waking up for real. I ate my clementine after lunch, and it was all I ever wanted; christmas and daycare and sour sweetness.

after school I was going to read the book that I neglected on Thursday, but my eyes dropped and I slept on the red sofa in the back of the school until father came and got me home. and when I came home I read Brokeback Mountain instead and wept.

I woke up in an extremely cold room, realizing the heat doesn't reach my room in autumn. and Saturday. aka, game time! (I will tell you shortly about my insane thursday later) frost was coating everything outside, giving it a fariyteale-like shimmer as I sat in the dining room with my tea and my toast. Read a bit from Jonathan Livingston Seagull to pass time, and then we were off to Folkunga.

The game was at home, and I felt that we had pretty nice chanses of winning. Sollentuna were late, so we had enough time to get calm and collected and set on our goal, but somehow, somewhere, we didn't perform too well. we lost three sets in a row and that was that. we played both good and bad, but I guess Sollentuna just were better. It was quite a strange game, to cite Frida Ryman's words. We did manage to get some points on them though, so next time we see them, we're going to give them our best! it that aint going to be too bad either.

Sabina; about to crush some bitches